*sudden realization that next year is like 3 weeks away*
Cause you never piss off a woman with a shotgun.
Yeah, but you can high-five Satan.
Pfffft you got 2 hands just might get a little weird
my Dad makes dad jokes but because hes a physics teacher theyre not common dad jokes
"hey dad, whats up?"
"Up is a directional vector with no force"
I AM THE DIDDLY DANGER
mY FRIEND CHARLES JU ST POSTJED THIS HE PUT LIGHTS ON H IS FUCKIGN PALM TREE AND he diDNT REALIZE IT WOULD LOok LIKE A COCK JIZZING IM CRYING??? ???? ????////// / / / /
"Don’t kid yourself" would be a great slogan for birth control pills
my fall look today is winged eyeliner, plum lipstick, and a look on my face like i’m fucking your boyfriend and can’t wait for you to find out.
My fall look is simple liner with bold lashes, burgundy lipstick, a gleam in my eyes that let’s men know that I’ll suck their dick, their money out of their bank accounts, and the souls right out of their bodies.
this is my favorite post on tumblr currently
whats the password bitch